The Death Machine - Revision history

OtanSysop at 20:28, 24 September 2024

2024-09-24T20:28:54Z

OtanSysop at 03:00, 24 May 2023

2023-05-24T03:00:02Z

OtanSysop at 02:58, 24 May 2023

2023-05-24T02:58:32Z

OtanSysop at 02:58, 24 May 2023

2023-05-24T02:58:19Z

OtanSysop at 22:53, 27 October 2021

2021-10-27T22:53:23Z

OtanSysop at 16:05, 27 October 2021

2021-10-27T16:05:44Z

OtanSysop at 16:03, 27 October 2021

2021-10-27T16:03:52Z

OtanSysop at 06:13, 26 October 2021

2021-10-26T06:13:10Z

OtanSysop at 05:41, 26 October 2021

2021-10-26T05:41:55Z

OtanSysop at 05:30, 26 October 2021

2021-10-26T05:30:43Z

@@ Line 48: / Line 48: @@
 "Yes, Magister?" He coughed, looking for clues as to why he had been pointed out.
-"Please remind the class why the long migration of the [[Ungir]] from the [[Aydahar Confederation]] across the [[Ortalyk]] countryside deeply agitated the people of our nation."
+"Please remind the class why the long migration of the [[Ungir]] from [[Altinqor]] across the [[Ortalyk]] countryside deeply agitated the people of our nation."
 Hedgewind had never seen an [[Ungir]] or an [[Aydahar]] for that matter.  He drew a blank.  No one could possibly care about this topic, he decided to himself.  "I don't know, Magister." he finally muttered.

@@ Line 1: / Line 1: @@
 [[File:Shorts.png|right|thumb|300px|link=Short Stories]]
 by Robyn Blaber (October 2021)
@@ Line 18: / Line 17: @@
 "Maybe they don't even know it is terrible.  No, someone would have surely complained." He continued to think.
+[[File:HedgewindinStasis.png|left|500px]]
 His hand gently brushed his thigh.  He could feel.  A reel of all the benevolent afterlife possibilities filled his head as he wondered if had mustered the temerity to open his eyes.  Would there be a paradise before him or a terrifying hellscape?  For the hundredth time, he allowed his pantheon of doubts to march onward through the battlefield of his imagination.

@@ Line 1: / Line 1: @@
-[[File:Shorts.png|right|thumb|30px|link=Short Stories]]
+[[File:Shorts.png|right|thumb|300px|link=Short Stories]]
 [[File:HedgewindinStasis.png|right|500px]]
 by Robyn Blaber (October 2021)

@@ Line 1: / Line 1: @@
-[[File:Shorts.png|right|500px|link=Short Stories|'''Short Stories''']]
+[[File:Shorts.png|right|thumb|30px|link=Short Stories]]
 [[File:HedgewindinStasis.png|right|500px]]
 by Robyn Blaber (October 2021)

@@ Line 73: / Line 73: @@
 "The [[Ungir]]," Hedgewind continued, "have been treated very badly by the [[Ortalyk]] people.  Our people have always treated them as though they are unworthy of life.  Should they find ''casus belli'' after years of our poor treatment of them, they could be a terrible threat!  Their numbers are far greater than most people know, with perhaps nine [[Ungir]] living underground for every one that we can see on the surface.  Their military could be greater than the [[Ortalyk]] and [[Aydahar]] combined."
-"They also have no end of gold, silver, and gems.  Of course, the [[Ungir]] leaders hoard their treasures, but if ''casus belli'' is declared, I believe they can get a token from their assessors.  They can replace their hoards with a token and use the treasure to harm us.  They have treasure enough to buy the loyalty of the Eastern [[Ortalyk]] provinces, while destroying the economies of the Western provinces.  That action would certainly harm the [[Aydahar]] economy to great effect.  They [[Aydahar]] would blame us and turn their dragons upon us to gather up some of this loose treasure."
+"They have no end of gold, silver, and gems.  The [[Ungir]] leaders hoard their treasures, but if ''casus belli'' is declared, I believe they can get a token from their assessors.  They can replace their hoards with a token and use the treasure to harm us.  They have treasure enough to buy the loyalty of the Eastern [[Ortalyk]] provinces, while destroying the economies of the Western provinces.  That action would certainly harm the [[Aydahar]] economy to great effect.  They [[Aydahar]] would blame us and turn their dragons upon us to gather up some of this loose treasure."
-"The [[Ungir]] could simply hire the [[Grendel]] as mercenaries, putting us at war with three nations at once, while also being thrust into the midst of a civil war.  They would destroy us completely."
+"The [[Ungir]] would simply hire the [[Grendel]] as mercenaries, putting us at war with three nations at once, while also being thrust into the midst of a civil war.  They would destroy us completely."
 "And who would give us succor, Magister?"  Hedgewind asked as he drew more breath.  "The [[Ælf]]es would not lift a finger to save us from the tiny [[Ungir]].  The [[Ontustikter]]s would not save us unless we all converted to their religion, but no other way.  The [[Sigis|Sigis Empire]] is only interested in trade and everyone else is too far away.  So those, Magister, are the reasons why did not answer [[Aydahar]]."
@@ Line 83: / Line 85: @@
 Hedgewind got up to leave.  He picked up his books, looking back at his classmates.  They all looked stunned in surprise.  All but Svetlana who had what he could only guess, what he hoped most dearly, to be a look of admiration.
-The next day Hedgewind was summoned to the office of the Registrar.  When he arrived, his father was there with a bewildered look on his face.  His mother sat there too, crying.  He had been expelled.  The disappointment in his parents' faces filled him with a deep sorrow that never left.  He realized that he would never again see Svetlana and the fire in her hair.  His sorrow multiplied.
+The next day Hedgewind was summoned to the office of the Registrar.  When he arrived, his father was there with a bewildered look on his face.  His mother sat there too, crying.  He had been expelled.  The disappointment in his parents' eyes filled him with a deep sorrow.  This was a sorrow that would never leave him, not even in death.
-He wished he was dead.  Then, he remembered that he was dead.  "Sorrow does not die." He reasoned, then wondered if he would be able to cry in the afterlife.
+Hedgewind realized that he would never again see the princess with the fire in her hair.  His sorrows multiplied.  They wracked his body and he screamed in torment.  He wished he was dead.  It was then that he remembered that he was dead.  "Sorrow does not die." He reasoned as he was overcome by a strong urge to cry.
 He opened his eyes.  "What the hell?"  He said as disbelief overtook him.

@@ Line 5: / Line 5: @@
 [[Hedgewind Jalinbeti]] was dead.   When I say that he was dead, I mean that his heart had stopped pumping blood.  The tissues in his body, deprived of oxygen were dying at a cellular level.  His brain, once full of thought and energy was also inert; a mere blob of jelly encased in a skull that was slowly cooling to room temperature.  Hedgewind Jalinbeti was as dead as anyone had ever been.
-The worst thing about Hedgewind's death was how disappointing it was for Hedgewind.  He knew that dying would be a horrific process.  All of his apprehensions were confirmed as he died.  He doubted the usefulness of his life.  He doubted whether he had ever truly loved.  He doubted that he had ever truly ''been'' loved.  A choir of cascading doubts and disappointments swirled in his head as his heart stopped.  His mind losing consciousness used the last of its faculties to process his greatest doubt; why had he ever lived at all?  And then, he was dead.
+The worst thing about Hedgewind's death was how disappointing it was for Hedgewind.  He knew that dying would be a horrific process.  All of his apprehensions were confirmed as he died.  He doubted the usefulness of his life.  He doubted whether he had ever truly loved.  He doubted that he had ever truly ''been'' loved.  A choir of cascading doubts and disappointments swirled in his head as his heart stopped.  His mind, losing consciousness, used the last of its faculties to process his greatest doubt; why had he ever lived at all?  And then, he was dead.
 In death, Hedgewind understood that several possibilities were awaiting the deceased.  The most likely of these followed his assumption that his mind would simply be cast into the void, a nothingness from which nothing escapes.  There would be no thought and no future.  Of course, he considered the possibility that the clergy might have the correct insights.  Had he not witnessed evidence of the power of the gods?  Surely the powers possessed by the holiest of men were not all illusions.  If the clergy were to be believed, he wondered, "Which clergy?"

@@ Line 105: / Line 105: @@
 With soothing words, they rubbed his skin with fragrant oils.  They filled his nostrils with fine scents and treated his palate to the taste of mint and basil. Hedgewind began to throw up again, first what little water he had taken in, then nothing at all.  He wanted to empty his insides.  His skin crawled and he wanted to slide out of it.  He wanted to tear it away.  His whole body disgusted him as though he had been transported into a corpse.  Technically, he had.
-His skin turned reddish-purple and veins began to pop from his temples to toes.  Eventually, his convulsions subsided.  His servants finally got him to his feet and removed him to his bed-chamber.  There they continued to anoint him with oils and scrape away necrotic flesh where it bubbled and applied healing salves to the sores.  With their ministrations complete, Hedgewind was alive, though he only looked slightly better than a corpse.
+His skin turned reddish-purple and veins began to pop from his temples to toes.  Eventually, his convulsions subsided.  He simply had no more energy to vomit.  His servants carefully got him to his feet and hobbled him to his bed-chamber.  There they continued to anoint him with oils.  They scraped away necrotic flesh and where the flesh bubbled, they applied healing salves.  Bandages were applied with liberality.  With their ministrations complete, they pronounced Hedgewind fully alive, though he looked only slightly better than a corpse.
-In time, he was able to sit up.  He began to inscribe magical symbols into the air.  He made calculations.  He wiped them away and inscribed new calculations.  He wiped those away.  "There's something wrong." He thought, clapping away the runes. "The gods are broken."
+After some sleep, Hedgewind was able to sit up on his own.  He began to inscribe magical symbols into the air.  He made calculations.  He wiped them away and inscribed new calculations.  He wiped those away.  "There's something wrong." He thought, clapping away the last of the runes. "The gods are broken."
-A swirling image moved at the end of the room. Hedgewind's eyes, still damaged from his experience did not want to focus.  He blinked hard.  As his eyes strained into focus, he could see a woman.  Her back was turned toward him as examined herself in a looking glass, brushing her hair.  Her hair was red and it danced with fire.
+A swirling image moved at the end of the room. Hedgewind's eyes, still damaged from his experience did not want to focus.  He blinked hard.  As his eyes strained into focus, he could see a woman.  Her back was turned toward him as she examined herself in a looking glass, brushing her hair.  Her hair was red and it danced with fire.
 ====Author's Note====

@@ Line 87: / Line 87: @@
 He wished he was dead.  Then, he remembered that he was dead.  "Sorrow does not die." He reasoned, then wondered if he would be able to cry in the afterlife.
-He opened his eyes.  "What the hell?"  He wondered.
+He opened his eyes.  "What the hell?"  He said as disbelief overtook him.
 Part of him expected or even hoped to see a classical depiction of Valhalla, a city of gold nestled in the clouds.  Perhaps he would see the halls of Asgard with gods and heroes, side by side, drinking and telling tall tales.  He did not see this.

@@ Line 31: / Line 31: @@
 He produced flames without training or even the slightest understanding of magic.  It was inside him.  By the time he was presented to the Imperial Academy, he had already mastered a few methods for producing magical flame.  His experiments in the home would regularly lead him to trouble with his parents.  When his attempts at fire magic would go awry, they would leave him with burned hands, hair and clothes.  Other times he would accidentally burn things in the home that his parents certainly did not want to see burned.  He was, as his father had pointed out, a handful.
-As a student, Hedgewind was less than ideal.  He did not care for his politics and history classes and would drift off into imaginary battles with dragons, wondering if one day his own flames would exceed those of the dragonkind.  He took little interest in the strategies of the battlefield and it was not long before his teachers stopped calling upon him for answers.
+As a student, Hedgewind was less than ideal.  He did not care for his politics and history classes and would drift off into imaginary battles with dragons, wondering if one day his own flames would exceed those of the dragonkind.  He took little interest in the strategies of the battlefield and it was not long before the Magisters stopped calling upon him for answers.
 Everything was different in his magic classes.  While he was less than studious, he paid close attention to the studies of what he deemed the lesser magics; those which did not involve flame.  When the topic rolled around the magic of flames, he exceeded his class.  He exceeded his teachers.  He did not understand how they used so many more words, so many more sleights of the hand to produce so little flame.
-His teachers, powerful wizards all, found themselves being mocked when the subject of flames arose. To all who observed Hedgewind's progress, they would have predicted that the academy would have served him no purpose other than to bolster his arsenal of utilitarian magic.  They would have also predicted that Hedgewind would leave with the Academy with a sharply honed ability to mock the powerful. Of course, these two predictions would have been prescient as they did eventually come to fruition.
+His Magisters in the magical arts, powerful wizards all, found themselves being mocked when the subject of flame arose. To all who observed Hedgewind's progress, they would have predicted that the academy would have served him no other purpose than to bolster his arsenal of utilitarian magic.  They would have also predicted that Hedgewind would leave with the Academy with a sharply honed ability to mock the powerful. Of course, these two predictions would have been prescient as they did eventually come to fruition.
 Something happened, however, that changed Hedgewind for the rest of his life.  On a cold [[Kantar]] morning, Prince [[Batil Zhurek]] the prince regent and heir to the throne of [[Ortalyk]] arrived at the Imperial Academy.  Along with his entourage of servants and armed guards he had brought a young girl with him, his daughter, Princess [[Svetlana Zhurek]].  He came to consign his daughter to the very same Academy in which he was trained and the matters of politics and warfare.  Here he believed, she would receive the education she would need to ascend to a great title, perhaps exceeding her already lofty title of princess.
@@ Line 41: / Line 41: @@
 The seven-year-old Hedgewind, of course, thought nothing of this new arrival.  She would probably have no interest in magic, he decided.  If she did study magic, she would have no interest in flame, he further decided.  Hedgewind took little interest in his classmates at the best of times.  He had not yet developed an interest in girls, and he certainly had no special reverence set aside for the royal family.  This meant nothing to him.
-"Hedgewind!" His teacher shouted.
+"Hedgewind!" The Magister shouted.
-Hedgewind was in class.  His history teacher, a slight grey-haired woman pointed at him with her pointing stick.  The rest of the class all looked at him apprehensively.  Hedgewind had been a universe away.  The new student, the princess, Svetlana had been placed in his history class.  It was no fault of her own that she had red hair.  It was no fault of Hedgewind's that during his normal course of not paying attention in class, he had looked into her hair.
+Hedgewind was in class.  The Magister of history, a slight grey-haired woman pointed at him with her pointing stick.  The rest of the class all looked at him apprehensively.  Hedgewind had been a universe away.  The new student, the princess he had planned to ignore, had been placed in his history class.  It was no fault of hers that she had red hair.  It was no fault of Hedgewind's that during his normal course of not paying attention in class, he had casually glanced at and then into her hair.
-It was in Svetlana's hair that he could see flame, dancing and cascading waves of flame shimmering and beckoning him to pay close attention or perhaps miss some important... "Hedgewind!" His teacher shouted again.
+In Svetlana's hair that he could see flames.  They danced and cascaded in endless waves, shimmering and beckoning him to pay closer and closer attention lest he miss some important... "Hedgewind!" The Magister shouted again.
 "Yes, Magister?" He coughed, looking for clues as to why he had been pointed out.
-"Please remind the class why the migration of the [[Ungir]] from the [[Aydahar Confederation]] across the [[Ortalyk]] countryside deeply agitated our people."
+"Please remind the class why the long migration of the [[Ungir]] from the [[Aydahar Confederation]] across the [[Ortalyk]] countryside deeply agitated the people of our nation."
 Hedgewind had never seen an [[Ungir]] or an [[Aydahar]] for that matter.  He drew a blank.  No one could possibly care about this topic, he decided to himself.  "I don't know, Magister." he finally muttered.
-The class laughed.  Svetlana laughed.  The princess of fire shared in the mockery; his mockery.  The class went on and Hedgewind's shame grew.  To stare into this fire, he would need Svetlana's approval, not her mockery.  The shame stung like a fresh wound.  In this moment, he vowed to take his studies more seriously.
+The class laughed.  Princess Svetlana laughed.  The princess of with the hair of fire shared in the mockery; his mockery.  The class went on and Hedgewind's shame grew.  To stare into this fire, he would need Svetlana's approval, not her mockery.  The shame stung like a fresh wound.  In this moment, he vowed to take his studies more seriously.
-A ten-year-old Hedgewind sat in the back row of his politics class.  He would arrive early so that he would never have to sit in the same seat from one class to the next.  He naturally preferred the back, where he could see everyone in the class.  Of course, this also allowed him to stare into Svetlana's hair and watch the fire, though he only permitted himself moments to do this when the Magisters were speaking.  Often he would sit at the front of the class and engage in direct dialogue with the Magisters.  He found this one-on-one dialogue to give him an advantage over his classmates and few Magisters would ever rebuff his direct questions.
+A ten-year-old Hedgewind sat in the back row of his politics class.  He would arrive early to class to ensure that he would never have to sit in the same seat from one class to the next.  He naturally preferred the back, where he could see everyone in the class.  Of course, this also allowed him to stare into Svetlana's hair and watch the fire, though he only permitted himself moments to do this when the Magisters were giving their lessons.  Often he would sit at the front of the class and engage directly with the Magisters, like it was a private conversation.  He found these one-on-one dialogues gave him an advantage over his classmates.  Few Magisters would rebuff direct questions from a student, whether decorous or not.
-It came to pass that the entire country of [[Ortalyk]] was starting to feel the tide of war rising.  The [[Grendel]] in the north and the [[Aydahar]] to the south were grumbling about how much of the continent's wealth had moved itself to [[Ortalyk]].  They complained that the advantages of [[Otan]]i life always seemed to shift toward [[Human]]kind.
+It came to pass that the entire country of [[Ortalyk]] was starting to feel the rising tide of war.  The [[Grendel]] in the north and the [[Aydahar]] to the south were grumbling about how much of the continent's wealth had moved itself to [[Ortalyk]].  They complained that the advantages provided by the gods of [[Otan]] always seemed to find their way into [[Human]] hands.
-The [[Ortalyk]] perspective seemed to be a matter of simply riding out and putting foreign dissenters in their place by means of force.  A war on two or more fronts, however, might prove a terrible burden on the country and everyone from the Tsar down to the lowest cowherd was speculating on how a war might unfold.  A combined attack by the [[Grendel]] and [[Aydahar]] might prove to be more than the [[Ortalyk]] military could bear.
+The [[Ortalyk]] perspective seemed to be a matter of simply riding out and putting foreign dissenters back into their places by means of force.  A war on two or more fronts, however, could prove to be a terrible burden on the country and everyone from the Tsar down to the lowest cowherd was speculating on how a war might unfold.  A combined attack by the [[Grendel]] and [[Aydahar]] would certainly be the worst of scenarios, and possibly more than the [[Ortalyk]] military could bear.
 "What is the greatest threat to the Tsardom of [[Ortalyk]]?" The Magister demanded of the class.
-The class put up their hands to seek the glory of giving the obvious answer.  Hedgewind did not put up his hand.  It was perhaps for this reason that the Magister called upon him to give his answer.  "Hedgewind?" She asked.  "What or who is the greatest threat to our nation right now?"
+The class put up their hands to seek the glory of giving the correct and obvious answer.  Hedgewind did not put up his hand.  It was perhaps for this reason that the Magister called upon him for an answer.  "Hedgewind?" She demanded.  "What or who is the greatest threat to our nation right now?"
 "The [[Ungir]], Magister." He replied.